Dave Chang's Birthday Gift To Me

Dave "China" Chang linked me today to a video he made specially for me for my birthday of him singing his favorite song. Enjoy:

Things Are Great/Things Are Horrible

I feel like I'm crawling through a loooooong dark tunnel with a bright-ass light at the end of it. Only catch is, the tunnel's walls are slowly closing in on me. The end is visible and within reach, but will I be able to make it there before everthing closes in on me?

The end is in sight. My goals are getting fulfilled one by one and my plan is slowly coming to fruition. I got hired as a "Patient Liason" @ Christ Hospital, which puts me in position to get hired as a X-Ray Technologist there when I graduate in September. School is finally getting easier, as my grades are splendid and the hell of my first year is over. Not only do I actually have a future, but it is bright and reachable. Only 11 more months til graduation.

However, the stress of the everyday hustle and bustle has been getting to me. Combine that with some trying experiences that I've been enduring in my personal life and I feel like the walls are closing in on me. Everything was so great and positive, but that has changed. Fair enough. I'll admit, occasionally I have to turn to certain things to deal with the pressure, but it's nothing big.

Will I make it?

Will I fail?

Only time will tell.

Ask me again In 11 months.

Video Of The Year

On Life & Death

sometimes things just can't be fixed.

rest in peace to you, my friend and my brother...

i promise you i will follow in your footsteps

see you real soon, kid...

Broadcasting Live & Direct From The Operating Room

As I stand here in the OR awaiting the orthopedic surgeon to ask for fluoroscopy, a revelation hit me.

I graduate in a year.

One year from now, the future will become the present.

This occurence, coupled with a few other events that have transpired in my life recently has led me to believe that maybe, just maybe, my life is changing for the better.

I'm happy.

Rare Unreleased Mariah Carey Song

"Ken Lee tulibu dibu douchoo"

Major Dilemma

July 19th is coming up...

what the fuck am i gonna choose?

UFC FIGHT NIGHT 14 - July 19 on Spike TV
Main Card:
-Anderson Silva vs. James Irvin
-Frankie Edgar vs. Hermes Franca
-Brandon Vera vs. Reese Andy
-Anthony Johnson vs. Kevin Burns

Preliminaries:
-Jake O'Brien vs. Cain Velasquez
-Brad Blackburn vs. James Giboo
-Rory Markham vs. Brodie Farber
-Dale Hartt vs. Shannon Gugerty
-Nate Loughran vs. Johnny Rees
-Jesse Taylor vs. C.B. Dollaway


OR


AFFLICTION:BANNED - July 19 on PPV
Main Card (PPV):
-Fedor Emelianenko vs. Tim Sylvia
-Josh Barnett vs. Pedro Rizzo
-Andre Arlovski vs. Ben Rothwell
-Matt Lindland vs. Fabio Negao
-Babalu Sobral vs. Mike Whitehead

Cable Card (Fox Sports Net):
-Aleksander Emelianenko vs. Paul Buentello
-Vitor Belfort vs. Terry Martin

Preliminaries:
-Antonio Rogerio Nogueira vs. Edwin Dewees
-Trenell Young vs. Mark Hominick
-Justin Levens vs. Patrick Speight
-Mike Pyle vs. J.J. Ambrose

Deepest Darkest Africa

i was like 5 years old and completely naive at the time, but looking back in retrospect, this is the most racially offensive shit i've ever seen...

I too, would much rather see your titties...

thanks chase.

People Getting Served

i've been enduring a rough period in school lately, in which the difficulty level of everything has increased dramatically. studying for literally 4-8 hours a day has got me going crazy, but in the midst of it all i've found time to go back to my roots and cheer myself up in the same way that has worked for years: laughing at other people's misery...

i empathize with this woman's ankle injury...the fart though, that's just inexcusable...


making a motorcycle ramp out of a human isn't even a good idea on paper...


some things just aren't meant to be climbed...


why won't my friends let me do things like this to them?


swings are for children and fags...lessons have to be learned the hard way


i guess you deserve this if you opt for the steeplechase over more of the manly events...


it's official: tuba players hate little kids...


not only is it funny that this kid gets drilled, but the complete absence of compassion makes it better...


hope you laughed as hard as i did at these people's misfortune...

New Song By Josh Ladao

found this old video of a song josh wrote a few months back...enjoy...

Day 11: Back To Square One

i can't even describe what i'm feeling right now.

picture something that you swore would never happen actually happening.

right in front of your very eyes.

VICTORY!!!

i've done it!

i've conquered verizon!

david has beaten goliath!

Day 4: Comfort & Relief

my week is over. this was a very trying week school-wise, and i'm happy to say that not only did i successfully survive, but i managed to excel. nothing beats the feeling that engulfs me on a thursday morning once i finish class for the week, knowing that i don't have any studying to do that night. it's far more satisfying than the feeling on friday after knowing my week is over.

if it seems that there's more of a positive air to my posts these days, it's because i've found comfort in my situation. granted, it's still quite foreign to me, but that doesn't make it unnavigable. there's nothing that life can throw at me that i can't handle, it's just that some situations may take longer to adjust to than others.

the presidential elections are quickly approaching. well, not as quickly as the democratic national convention. those of you who know me will find no surprise that i align myself as a democrat, although not a card-carrying member of the party. quite frankly, i don't like the usage of the terms "democrat" and "republican", i just consider myself fairly liberal, and that the views and opinions of the republican party and their propaganda vehicles (fox news in particular) are far too conservative for my personal tastes. in this election year, i'm hoping to choose my first winner, since i'm 0 for 2 in voting (at 18 years old in 2000 i voted for al gore, and at 22 years old in 2004 i voted for john kerry). either way, i'm going to spare you from reading any more political rambling and cut right to the primary purpose of this tangent: i have finally selected which democratic candidate i prefer. all due to this one youtube clip, i have decided to become an obama supporter. enjoy:



i have zero plans this weekend and i'm looking to enjoy myself, yet not go too crazy. anyone with any sort of ideas, get at me.

as always, it is always a pleasure...

Day 3: Planning, Ambition & Rededication

EDITED: 8:21 PM 4/30

two exams today - got a 95 and a 96.

so if you're keeping a tally, that's 3 exams and a 100, 95, and 96 so far since i resolved to refocus. things are looking spectacular right now. first time in weeks that i've broken a 90 on any exam, and went far beyond that. things on the home front are looking good again, and the wheels of the moving process have begun to turn. last night i also went to sleep without any assistance from any substances. i know that the brunt of the credit for that goes to the anatomy of the lower extremities, since i spent the day studying until i was utterly exhausted.

i did however manage to take a short break from studying to chitchat with a new friend. it felt nice to be able to have someone to talk to who knows the ins and outs of the current situation that i find myself in.

on top of that, in the past 3 days i have written 3 full songs. when i finally get around to recording them, i'm sure those of you who have kept tabs on my musicial progress over the years will notice a change in my demeanor, subject matter, and maturity. things have been bottled up inside me the past couple of weeks, and i unloaded everything into what i've written recently. hopefully people will enjoy what i'm working on.

back in the gym now as well, my shins are completely splintered up from the heavy bag. someone my size shouldn't be made to throw kicks rapidly, but i find it way more fun than running or those elliptical machines that everyone seems to be so tantalized with.

i haven't the slightest inkling of where all this extra free time has come from, but i'm enjoying everything. i'm trying to stay positive and not let any sort of negative thoughts enter my mind. as long as molly is happy, i'm happy, and it took a moment of mature contemplation for me to arrive at that conclusion.

in the spirit of keeping this blog positive, i'm not even gonna get started on the yankees. i have so much to say about my beloved yanks, but just the mere thought of how the team looks thusfar instantly forces my blood to boil. i pass. i'll write about the inevitable train wreck next time.

oh and i finally got around to posting some older vids on youtube. i just recently posted some gems and classics from last summer @ the poker mansion. unsurprisingly, the early star of the videos i've posted seems to be blue. the man is a walking comedy show. check it out: http://www.youtube.com/user/addict4hiphop/. i highly recommend the video titled: "Blue Is Feelin It" - it is a heartfelt homage to hoboken and the jersey shore.

oh and for all blackberry users, hit me with your bb pin#. i've finally upgraded.

in what i find to be a complete coincidence, the fact that i'm going through what i'm going through just so happens to coincide with the official release (fucking finally!) of the video for "it's you (i think)" by my good friend stan (aka substantial). this song is incredibly genius in all aspects of the word, from the production, lyrics, feel, and overall vibe. the 2nd video i'm posting is the video for "can't let go" by myself and ron verbal as produced by angelo benjamin, which also seems to fit my overall mood. hope you all enjoy.



"...it's like we love to live and live to love // oh how tough it is to give it up // when there's enough to get can't get enough // and when it gets rough you ask yourself 'is this love?'..." - substantial



i shall close this post with a message i received in my mailbox this morning. i read these every morning, and for some reason the one i received today seemed so fitting.

"Good morning! Never let other people's opinions hold you back. Only you know your potential! Here's some facts: Harry Potter was rejected by 12 publishers, Michael Jordan was cut from his high school basketball team, Walt Disney was told he lacked imagination, and one record company told the Beatles "we don't like your sound". Keep going!

God Is Love,
Rev Run"

hopefully it makes some of you feel the way i felt when i read it.

sometimes when you realize your life was poorly constructed and doomed to fail, you must take it all apart and carefully put the pieces back together yourself to ensure it's stability, success, and longevity. i'm currently in the process of doing so, and although i'm still very early on in my construction project, i'm already beginning to notice the benefits. don't be afraid to start back at square one. change is not always a bad thing.

it's always a pleasure...

Day 2: Instant Gratification

today was the first time in a long time that i ever got a 100 on an exam.

i couldn't help but smile for an extended period of time.

things are starting to finally work themselves out.

my focus has returned...and last night i managed to scrawl a few bars down.

i'm beginning to finally start tying up all the loose ends that existed in my life.

things are lookin up.

Two Words: Roid Rage.

roid rage is a powerful thing.

however upon finding this video i started laughing hysterically. i was dying for minutes. those of you who know me personally or have spent enough time with me should find mark coleman's initial reaction in this video to look very familiar. that shit is so me. good look to e for linkin me to this vid with a poignant remark of "that is you i don't care what you say".

Recent Developments.

i got my research team on the case.

new developments have already broken.

apparently the world is way smaller than people think it is.

preparation is followed by action, which in turn leads to confrontation.

the ultimate conclusion to the festivities could be ugly.

Day 1

the past few days have been my wake-up call.

i woke up friday morning somewhere i shouldn't have been, on the bathroom floor with vomit all over myself.

i'm takin this shit back now.

i'm in full control now.

i have my list of goals that i fully intend on accomplishing.

focus, patience, persistence, determination, drive, and ambition are my tools.

let's get it, motherfuckers

i'm back.

I Can See Clearly Now, The Rain Is Gone...

i had a moment of clarity.

given my sleeping conditions last night combined with the fact that i had the whole day today to myself to sit back, ponder, reflect, and think, i was able to start to finally make sense of the mess that is in my head.

i thought for a while that i knew exactly what i wanted, would be patient for as long as necessary to get what it is i want, and to settle for no less.

as my thoughts twisted themselves into intricate knots, i finally started to see the truth of what i want.

the brain and the heart are rarely ever in agreement. usually what your heart wants is not what your brain tells you is best. usually what your brain knows you need is exactly what will make your heart hurt.

i realize that i was going with what my heart said.

i realize that i was going against what my brain told me.

i realize that what truly may be best for me is what my brain tells me to do, despite how my heart feels.

if your heart stops, your brain can still function for a limited period of time.

if your brain stops, you're gone. heart and everything else shuts down.

the brain is stronger...so i'm gonna start going with what it tells me.