Fuck You, Lucy

i love this shit. this song fully encapsulates the overwhelming blast of emotions that one goes through when in the post-breakup mindset.

Fuck You Lucy - Atmosphere

"she say that she still wants a friendship
she can't live a life without me as a friend
i can't figure out why i give a damn to what she wants
i don't understand the now before the then
most of this garbage i write that these people seem to like
is about you and how i let you infect my life
and if they got to know you, i doubt that they would see it
they'd wonder what i showed you, how you could leave it
a friend in chicago said that i should stay persistent
if i stay around, i'm bound to break resistance
fuck you lucy, for defining my existence
fuck you and your differences
ever since i was a young lad with a part-time dad
it was hard to find happiness inside of what i had
i studied my mother, i digested her pain
and vowed no women on my path would have to walk the same
travel like sound across the fate ladder
i travel with spoon to mix this cake batter
and i travel with feel, so i can deal with touch
it's like that, thank you very much, fuck you very much

and everyone in his life would mistake it as love
everyone in his life would mistake it as love
everyone in his life would mistake it as love
and everyone in his life would mistake it as love
everyone in his life would mistake it as love
everyone in his life would mistake it as love

fuck the 'what happened?', i got stuck
they can peel pieces of me off the grill of her truck
used to walk with luck, used to hold her hand
fell behind and played the role of a slower man
i wanna stand on top of this mountain and yell
i wanna wake up and break up this lake of hell
i feel like a bitch for lettin the sheet twist me up
the last starfighter was wounded, time to give it up
on a pick it up mission, kept it bitter
gettin in a million memories just to forget her
the difficulty in keepin emotions controlled
cookies for the road, took me by the soul
hunger for the drama, hunger for the nurture
gonna take it further, the hurt feels like murder
interpret the eyes, read the lines on her face
the sunshine is fake, how much time did i waste?
fuck you lucy, for leavin me
fuck you lucy, for not needin me
i wanna say fuck you, because i still love you
no i'm not okay, and i don't know what to do

and everyone in his life would mistake it as love
everyone in his life would mistake it as love
everyone in his life would mistake it as love
and everyone in his life would mistake it as love
everyone in his life would mistake it as love
everyone in his life would mistake it as love

do i sound mad? well i guess i'm a little pissed
every action has a point, five points make a fist
you close 'em, you swing 'em, it hurts when it hits
and the truth can be a bitch, but if the boot fits
i got an idea, you should get a tattoo that says 'warning'
that's all, just a warning
so the potential victim can take a left and save breath
and avoid you, sober and upset in the morning
i wanna scream 'fuck you lucy!'
but the problem is i love you lucy
so instead, i'ma finish my drink and have another
while you think about how you used to be my lover

The Internal Debate.

Stay or go?

It's the question I most often ask myself.

A myriad of positives and negatives exist for both sides of the debate.

I should stay.

Staying around is where I feel comfortable.

I can't get what I truly want unless I'm willing to stay.

At this exact moment in time, staying is what would make me happy.

Scratch that, staying and attaining what I desire by staying is what would make me happy.

I have a lot of work to do in terms of persuading, convincing, and proving.

There is no guarantee however, that if I do stay, that things will work out how I wish they would.

My heart is telling me to stay.

I can't stay if things don't change.

I should leave.

Leaving is where I could pursue other options that I never fathomed to be possible.

I can discover new opportunities and endure new experiences if I leave.

At this exact moment in time, the uncertainty of what would happen if I left is exhilarating.

Scratch that, leaving and knowing that maybe a better tomorrow is out there is exhilarating.

I have a lot of preparations to make to ensure I am ready and able to leave.

There is no guarantee however, that if I do leave, that it will lead to prosperity and success.

My heart is telling me to leave.

I can't leave if things stay the same.

Every time I weigh out the pros and cons of each, I find the scale to be evenly balanced.

I think I've found a question to which there really is no correct answer.

Stay or go?

Control + Alt + Delete

I have gone back to square one after resetting everything. Sometimes it takes more courage to accept defeat, dust your shoulders off, and move on than it does to keep fighting a losing battle.